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Have you ever stared at the ceiling at midnight, questioning every decision you’ve ever made? Quite often, I guess. The world tells us to chase our dreams, to hustle, and never give up. But they don’t tell us about the quiet moments of self-doubt, underconfidence, and loneliness that creep in when we are all by ourselves.
As an aspirant, We all know the struggle. The preparation journey feels like staring up at Mount Everest, where the wind whips at our faces and the peak seems unreachable.
Our days begin with a series of lectures, self-study sessions, and endless practice tests during which self-doubts whisper frequently. Lunch is refueling for another round of study or revision and finally, the evening brings tiredness. Still, there is no time to rest. We avoid Social Gatherings and deny Birthday parties or family functions. Because our world revolves around the syllabus. We crave many things but with determined breath, we dive back in, chasing the dream of that civil servant badge.
We all have those days where self-doubt creeps in and steals our motivation. Maybe we bombed a mock test or a wrong answer writing setback left us feeling defeated with Manifestations of Underconfidence such as:
Questioning our abilities: "Am I smart enough for this exam?"
Doubting our preparation: "Have I studied enough?'', Am I following the right path?"
Fear of failure: "What will everyone think If I don’t care?"
Comparing ourselves to others: "Everyone else seems so much more prepared than me." and many more.
This is the reality for most of us. Unlike other competitive exams, there is no semester break. It's a marathon, we have to run in one step otherwise start from zero. Here’s a glimpse into ‘the underconfident alone struggles’ in our lives:
We live in a world that thrives on validation. We easily feel discouraged when we’re surrounded by success stories. People of our age seemingly achieved that coveted job, that perfect relationship, that exotic vacation. It feels like everyone else has figured it out but we are still stuck. But the truth is we often project only the good bits outwards.
We hustle, we grind, we put in hours of study, but there are days when a nagging sound whispers, ''Are you good enough?'', Are you on the right track? We compare ourselves to others, and their milestones gleam like mocking stars. The fear of failure becomes a heavy cloak stifling our motivation.
The endless to-do lists of the Syllabus, Current affairs, Optional, CSAT, Monthly magazines, and Toppers’ interviews feel overwhelming. It holds pressure for us to be productive and best in all.
This feeling of isolation isn't simply a product of physical distance. It's a symptom of a deeper struggle. The lack of connection with ourselves. We persistently focus on getting a specific rank and frequently push self-compassion to the sidelines.
This internal battle is a universal experience for those who dare to dream and strive for something more and that’s why it's completely Okay. It's a sign that you care and is pushing yourself to grow. It's just, don't let it drown you.
It feels bad to address that being under confident leads to adverse effects on the preparation journey. You might not realize but it can lead to many evils as follows:
Procrastination: You might find yourself putting things off due to a fear of failure.
Reduced Focus: Due to self-doubts you can face difficulty in concentration during studies.
Aversion to Challenges: You can escape from attempting difficult questions, test series, or mock tests.
Loss of Motivation: The constant feeling of inadequacy can drain your willpower.
Increased Stress: The feeling of being alone adds stress levels which makes it difficult to concentrate and retain information. You might find yourself dwelling on negative thoughts and anxieties.
Are you still planning to keep yourself in underconfidence and isolation? I guess, NO! Obviously NO! Nobody wants to harm themselves. Amidst this internal turmoil, I found solace in the timeless wisdom of the Bhagavad Geeta and tried to figure out strategies to overcome these challenges of underconfidence, Here it is:
It's like Arjuna's Dilemma which represents ''A Reflection of Your Self-Doubt''. The Gita opens with Arjuna's dilemma on the battlefield where he is filled with doubts and despair while facing a fight with his own kin. This mirrors the underconfidence you might experience as the fear of not being good enough to crack the exam.
For this,Bhagavad Gita verse 2.47 says,"कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन"
Therefore, Focus on your actions! You should put in your best effort, rather than the outcome of clearing the exam. Consistent efforts build confidence over time. So, you just schedule your studies realistically, celebrate small wins, and track your progress to see your potential.
You can seek guidance like Krishna. The way Arjuna finds consolation and direction in Krishna you can also seek guidance from mentors, toppers, or coaching institutes or in the person, where your faith lies. A support system will provide you with valuable insights and motivation.
BG verse(4.34) says,"तद्विद्धि प्रणिपातेन परिप्रश्नेन सेवया''
Therefore, Learn from those who are wise and experienced. Find a mentor who can guide you through the different phases of the exam and address your doubts.
Remember, The Pandavas
They remained united even after their exile. You should also find friends or like minded UPSC aspirants who share your dream. Form study groups, discuss strategies, share your struggles and motivate each other during tough times with empathy. Support each other's successes because togetherness creates a powerful network and helps in overcoming loneliness.
Balance your Duty and Self-Care
Arjuna has performed his warrior duties while protecting his emotional well-being under Krishna's supervision. Similarly, you should balance your studies with activities that bring you joy such as hobbies, meditation, exercise, or spending time with your loved ones.
(BG 6.17) verse says,"योगस्थः कुरु कर्माणि संगम त्यक्त्वा कर्मणः"
Therefore, You should perform your duties while remaining detached from worldly attachments. Take breaks to rejuvenate and avoid burnout but don’t forget to build bridges to reconnect.
You must find Meaning in the Journey
(BG 4.18) verse says,''कर्मण्यकर्म यः पश्येदकर्मणि च कर्म यः''
Therefore, You should focus on the inherent value of the learning process itself, not just the exam. Enjoy the process of gaining knowledge and developing analytical skills. This will benefit you for studying regardless of the outcome.
Being human, our karma is a selfless action and fulfilling one's duty as per our holy books. So, You must dedicate your preparation wholeheartedly with perseverance, the right guidance, and a supportive network.
At last, Believe in yourself
Sometimes underconfidence stems from a lack of self-belief. So, start each day by making a positive affirmation like ''Yes I can do it''. Remind yourself of your capabilities and let it guide and win you through the UPSC journey!
Learning is the process of acquiring new or modifying existing knowledge, behaviours, skills, values or preferences.